Image courtesy of vaping360.com
You’ve waited all year for this. It’s the day of your favorite annual car event, whether it be V2 Lab’s Mystery Meat, Final Bout, SOWO or that track day you’ve been planning for ages.
You arrive, expecting the smell of burned rubber and catless exhausts to fill the air. Then, suddenly, you’re hit with it.
Strawberry Shortcake.
We get it, Mike. You vape.
The offender strolls past with his ironic car scene T-shirt, skinny jeans and a bedazzled rosary around his neck. He deeply inhales from a child-sized box mod and proceeds to unleash a mushroom cloud of vaporized vegetable glycerin directly into the faces of innocent bystanders.
He isn’t alone.
His friends, close behind, take turns adding to the ambient haze. Mango passion fruit, lime-a-rita, maple syrup, peaches ‘n’ cream, cinnabon — the scents are endless. No one else can stand them.
“Needs more camber,” one laughs, gesturing at a stanced Scion TC.
None of them are using vaping as a step to quit smoking. It’s a hobby. It’s a lifestyle. They go to vape meets, vape lounges and vape conventions. They are devoted members of a counterculture solely devoted to inhaling sweet, fruity vegetable glycerin.
They talk about vape setups rather than suspension setups.
“How’s your build going?”
“Good, man. Just need to get some better batteries and I’ll be putting out ridiculous clouds in no time.”
They complain about how the government is trying to unfairly regulate the vape industry as they walk directly in front of the cars you’re trying to photograph. They argue over whether or not a tank or drip setup is more efficient. They discuss the health benefits of vaping, and their eventual plans to open a vape lounge.
It’s a hobby that takes over lives. A hobby the car scene has no room for.
Smoke a damn cigarette and work on your car for once.
*This article was purely satire.
So your want me to smoke a cigarette and get whatever cancer come from it. Are you going to pay my medical bills when I have to go in for kemo, or my funeral when I die. I hope your saying yes, because that is what this article is telling me. Get a f I cling life and move on.
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sat·ire (săt′īr′)
n.
1.
a. A literary work in which human foolishness or vice is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.
b. The branch of literature constituting such works.
2. Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose human foolishness or vice.
[Latin satira, probably alteration (influenced by Greek satur, satyr, and saturos, burlesque of a mythical episode) of (lanx) satura, fruit (plate) mixture, from feminine of satur, sated, well-fitted; see sā- in Indo-European roots.]
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It clearly says that the article was satire..
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If you missed the satire in this article, yes, please start smoking cigarettes and get cancer.
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DED
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Let’s lay it out for you: Satire.
If you’re still reading:
In expanding on your comment, smoking, vaping, any of the above mentioned things are all a matter of personal choice. If you decide to do any of those things — it is not the responsibility of anyone but you to pay those costs. Chemotherapy and so forth. Also, how do you know that vaping won’t lead to cancer, or your demise (or serious injury) when the thing explodes.
I’d suggest you find hobby that isn’t so lame.
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Chemo*
Jussayin’.
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Or how about just not smoking at all? Or is that above your intelligence level?
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Many people begin smoking for various reasons. Some people are more predisposed to certain addictions than others. I have next to zero interest in booze, but smoked a pack of Parliament Lights a day for about seven or eight years. Vaping has been the only credible and effective means of quitting, for me.
That being said, I’m not a hipster toolbag and totally disinterested in vape culture. I avoid blowing vapor towards bystanders or non-smokers as much as possible, or I stick to the sidelines whilst vaping anyway. It’s a means to an end, for me, and one I’m thankful for.
That being said, I think a good deal of the butthurt and ire comes from the fact that vape clouds are more visually apparent to Joe Six-Pack, even though they’re far more innocuous than the guy burning through his Marhl-borough Laights off in a corner.
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“Kemo.” My phone actually autocorrected that 3 times before I got it right… Either you have a shitty phone or you are just returned. Probably both seein that you scrolled right past “this article is purely satire.” so you could comment this idiotic shit.
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but then if you are in the car scene there are hundreds of carcinogenic products out there so might as well have a cigarette and get fucking on with droppin in a bigger turbo 😉
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Smokers pay more taxes and die younger and are ultimately less strain on the economy, so please, take your inability to understand satire and start smoking.
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If you’re in the US, yes we’ll probably be paying for your cancer and kemo anyways. SATIRE
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Dude the author clearly stated that this article is satirical. Jesus Christ you’re a moron.
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Real car guys smoke dope.
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fuck ya
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Real car guys smoke tires.
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This is actually scarily true. Even though its satire, it is very true. Thank you for saying it.
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Im a part of both these worlds. I do agree people using vape devices wether it be tank or RDA use them with discression for the others around you. That is all. No negative no bitching just my simple opinion but some ass hat will probably attack my comment anyways cause thats what sad childeren do these days.
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I attack your comment
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I agree with u. I vape to quit smoking now it turn into a hobby haven’t smoked in over a year..but just like smoking a lot of vaping folks need to learn respect and blow it up not towards someone..unless there your friend then I say cloud there butt out
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Bunch of vaping faggots! Why don’t you all come out of the closet and just admit it? YOU LOVE SUCK A FAT, HARRY, BLACK COCK.
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YOU’RE A WIZARD, HARRY
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fuck you cunt im a vaper and im not gay so shut ya fucking face u fucking dummb cunt yank
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You type like a vaper
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That kind of anger towards a joke on the internet means your hoding some kinda feelings and think the louder you yell the less people will notice the cock in your mouth. Too bad its jumbling words.
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I used to read your stuff all the time. I’m going to unsubscribe from you for sure. YOU are what is “killing” the scene. Bullshit bitching about everything just to get likes, reads and followers. I hate stanced cars. It’s a fact. But “to each his own”! And I show respect. But when you start to put people down for want THEY like, it creates hate and THAT is what is killing scene! You are the problem.
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I’m sorry to hear that, maybe you missed the satire disclaimer? Maybe you just love to vape and take it far too seriously. Either way, bon voyage!
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Fag.
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Satire. SATIRE. Saaaatiiiiire.
S
A
T
I
R
E
S-a-t-i-r-e.
sat-ahy•uhr
ˈsæt aɪər
Just in case you missed it. I don’t know how many more times this poor guy can say it. Satire. Meaning he’s not serious. It’s not real. I’m sure you know all about that Mr. “EvilYeti.”
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Satire. SATIRE. Saaaatiiiiire.
S
A
T
I
R
E
S-a-t-i-r-e
sat-ahy•uhr
ˈsæt aɪər
Just in case you missed it. I don’t know how many more times this poor guy can say it. Satire. Meaning; he’s not serious. It’s not real. I’m sure you know all about that Mr. “EvilYeti.”
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POSTING AT THE END THAT THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE IS LIKE SAYING, NO OFFENSE AND THEN TOTALLY OFFENDING SOMEONE ON PURPOSE, GET A LIFE
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I mean, no offense
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I love reading articles like this shit makes me laugh and the responses and arguments just make for better entertainment. If your a car guy or girl watever the case may be the least of ur worries at a track should b ppl vaping.
You hate the mushroom clouds but claim to love the immense smoke from someone blowin off their tires (probably me) u hate the smells but u dnt hear me complaining bc ur teenybop with daddy issues smells like a cheap whore while you pass by smelling of cheap cologne put on way to heavily in an attempt to cover the smell of not taking a shower in the past week lmfao. And vapers please have some kind of common fucking courtesy just bc its not banned like cigarrettes are in most places doesnt give u any right to go around tryin to see who u can piss off the most by tryin to cloud over everybody its pretty obvious tht many of them get way too pussy hurt over such acts and take the time to create such dmbassed posts like this to rant on about how mommy never loved them daddy always touched them and vapers are apparently gay bc they choose to explore wat may b a possibly less lethal way of obtaining nicotine. “Ill just leave this here your free to continue bickering”
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Whether it be vaping or smoking, please everyone, just be courteous to those around you.
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Jeanie, you the best
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Vape shop owners are the worst. Worse than the “know it all” at the gun stores. #KeepVapingAwayFromCars
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“Pft, he’s got no trigger discipline”
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I love the post! It’s hilarious.. I love vaping.. In the business… But everyone is tired of getting kicked down for vaping. I support your post and laughed the whole time.. 🙂 If you can support us and sign this petition that would be great and if you need anything hit us up!!! https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/prevent-fda-regulating-or-banning-sale-and-use-electronic-cigarettes-accessories-and-associated/RQLBYRsd
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Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for not getting bent out of shape!
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Yes sir, thank you!!
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i fuckn lost it at the: “Needs more camber,” one laughs, gesturing at a stanced Scion TC. THAT WAS SO ACCURATE I JUST ABOUT DIED
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so the fuck what if people vape for fun or for quitting… doesn’t bother me none and I don’t vape… as long as you ain’t doing it what u got to worry about?
down talking people like u never did something u liked in ur life… live life the way u want nd fuck the rest cuz in the end it’s the same outcome for everyone
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come one i think u yanks need to harden the fuck up your all to soft bitching and complaning so how about you harden the fuck up and shut ya face and quit bitching about vaping
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Damn yanks
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Smoking dope and driving is illegal, under the influence of dope and driving kills people and that is not satire.
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LOL well written, I like little pokes like this at car meets. There is a hundred different types of people you can target. Good choice on the vapers though, the link to mod building and car building tickled me.
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well this made me chuckle lots :d …
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Another shit starting article, aimed at pissing people off so they can troll around in the comments section. Satire is supposed to be funny, this is stupid and offensive. Get a life man. If anything, vape culture has brought car scene people closer together. Go suck on an exhaust pipe, you fuckin douchebag!!
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❤
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I alongside several other people laughed at this article, therefore it is considered a satire. It is not the author’s fault that you have no sense of humor and get butthurt when someone decides to write an article that goes against something you believe in or do. On the note of “If anything, vape culture has brought car scene people closer together” I don’t see how vaping has brought people in the car scene closer, there’s little to no correlation. Vape culture itself is one of the stupidest things that exists. It is mainly composed of a bunch of teenagers and young adults who think they’re cool just because they can obtain nicotine and blow “sick ass clouds” at the same time. The only positive thins vaping brings to the table is that it is a way for chronic smokers to slowly stop smoking cigarettes.
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Needs more camber.
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I smoke cigarettes and vape it’s hard to find a flavor I like to quit smoking cigarettes but yes the vaping clubs are kind of ridiculous but you can’t bash them for starting to vape instead of cigarettes. Cloud chasing is pretty f****** gay
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Please do the next article on those FAGGOTS with their skinny dick jeans and their stretched earlobes. Shit be looking nastier than Bruce Janney
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People need to mind there own damn business and leave it at that. If you smoke or vape it’s your decision, stop criticizing each other and let it the fuck go….
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Yeh you go vape son, I ain’t telling you not to… but vape where I don’t have to breathe your shitty cloud in. Get the image? The world doesn’t revolve around you.
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Vaping to quit smoking is acceptable. But doing it just to see who can blow the biggest cloud of robot jizz is pretty gay. Also vaping is a gateway addiction that leads to crack and meth. And sucking dick to acquire said crack and meth.
FIN
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Was getting quite irked as I read through your post. But after reaching the satire tag and rereading it, it’s a helluva lot funnier (of course). Posers suck. Period. Even if they weren’t vaping so obnoxiously, their views on the car scene alone would be enough to wanna smack them upside the head.
Regardless of the satire, it’s a shame that those without common decency make others look at vaping with any amount of disdain.
Tldr; you got me! I’m gonna check out more of your stuff as payback though.
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That’s great. I still smoke but never in my car or near the car with the windows down. Or anyone’s car. Those massive clouds go all over the place. You also don’t need massive clouds for a vape to effectively deliver nicotine to your system. Especially if you are using it to quit smoking. I loved the satire in this article and it’s real life relevance to make it more fun. It’s the main reason I keep my doors and windows sealed at meets.
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Hey America.
shut up, lose weight.
Love england
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Reblogged this on Aaron's blog space.
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sadly im sad to say im a car guy but i also vape not like a fagot that goes on and on about vape shit i drive fast i vape i keep my mouth shut i have a slow 4banger with 140hp no because i dont want to work on it i simply dont have the money but i try to keep my vaping ralk to a minimum unless someone askes me about it. i hope other car/vape enthusiasts can follow my lead
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